Weekly photo challenge: Abandoned

I wrote a poem this morning as part of the writing course I am doing.

It just so happens that my school experience links with this week’s photo challenge. As it is a PHOTO challenge, I have chosen an old school photo to match the theme. I really DID feel abandoned on that day. It didn’t take long to get used to school, but I still didn’t enjoy it. I have only learned the joy of studying in recent years :-)

MEMORIES

Mum left me in a big room

Boys, girls, Sister Kevin

I struck out in fear

I had to stay – Mum left me

****

Boys, girls, lunch boxes

The stale smell of unwashed flannels

Banana sandwiches every-day

Awful warm milk at playtime

****

Spelling is fun h I p p o p o t o m u s

Cuisenaire blocks – to add up and take away

A prize for top of the class

Maybe school is OK

****

Latin Mass, First Communion

Rosary beads, confession, and penance

The smell of incense

Not at Mass? Line up for the strap

****

Decades have come and gone

Back to the same church

This time it is saying goodbye

To my loved ones and to my past

****

 

Grumpy …

Is there an acceptable way to be miserable? These past few weeks I have been feeling really moody under the surface but have been trying really hard to hide how I feel. Today I just feel like being honest about where I am at – and it is not a good space!

I have everything to be grateful for and nothing to complain about – except perhaps a desire for linking up with some people with similar interests. I get a lot of satisfaction from connecting with my online friends but sometimes it needs to be face-to-face.

I have signed up with a Creative Writing group  that commences meeting on 10 March – hopefully that will hit the spot :-).

I am trying to make the most of this stage of my life but I still feel redundant at times. To counteract this, I have been working on another blog about Baby Boomers at Encore Australia and looking at all the positive opportunities open to me and others my age.

Anyway, some nice flowers to brighten the day:

Zero shades of grey

Sometimes, perhaps when I am not at my best, I see things as black or white; good or bad; wrong or right etc.

photos 196

It is good for me to remember that there may really be some shades of grey and that is OK. What is right for me may not be the same for you. Each person and each situation is unique.

It is just a matter of stopping our thinking for a moment and being objective about the possibilities. Being objective encourages me to be more tolerant and more philosophical about life in general.

photos 193

Do you think there is a place for black and white thinking? Are there some situations where it is universally clear what is right and what is wrong?

cheers

Lorraine

Unhelpful thoughts …

Do you ever jump to conclusions? I know I do. I get into a bad habit of assuming the worst.

money box 003I found a handout today while sorting my files. It is from The Centre for Clinical Interventions.

It is a good reminder not to get into bad thinking habits such as jumping to conclusions. The leaflet says:

‘We jump to  conclusions when we assume that we know what someone else is thinking (mind reading) and when we make predictions about what is going to happen in the future.’

I often stumble of over this one – especially if I am feeling a bit low. Truth is that we never know what someone else is thinking! So why not assume they are thinking something good?

cheers

Lorraine

Creativity continued

I am trying to tap into my creativity and I am exploring writing about feelings. Here is one about anxiety :-)

Yallingup 004ANXIETY

I am short of breath

Something bad is going to happen

There are so many things to remember

I am overwhelmed

What have I forgotten to do?

I should have this sorted by now

I need something to relieve the pressure in my head

Something to eat … a pill …

Perhaps I can scrub the floor instead

Use up some of that nervous energy

Yes, that is a better idea

 

What is creativity and how do I get it?

For a dictionary definition of creativity CLICK HERE

I will think about the things I do each day – think about how I could be more creative as in: the ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination: the need for creativity in modern industry; creativity in the performing arts.

My challenge is to learn how to be more creative in all I do :-)

Do you have any suggestions or ideas about expressing creativity? I would love to hear them.

 

Be who you are – you don’t need fixing!

Capture 6For as long as I can remember I have tried to fix myself and make myself a better person. Even in my first ten years I collected sayings and quotes about life and how to live. I was a bit of a rebel in my teens and tended to listen to the wisdom of the Beatles, Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin :-)

In my 20s I was overwhelmed with life and sought wisdom from other sources. The one that helped me most was Helen Steiner Rice. It is a timely reminder as my favourite was “A Prayer for the New Year”.

New Year Prayer

God grant us this year a wider view,
So we see others’ faults through the eyes of You.
Teach us to judge not with hasty tongue,
Neither the adult … nor the young.

Give us patience and grace to endure
And a stronger faith so we feel secure.
Instead of remembering, help us forget
The irritations that caused us to fret.

Freely forgiving for some offense
And finding each day a rich recompense.
In offering a friendly, helping hand
And trying in all ways to understand;

That all of us whoever we are …
Are trying to reach an unreachable star.
For the great and small … the good and bad,
The young and old … the sad and glad

Are asking today; Is life worth living?
The answer is only in, loving and giving.
For only Love can make man kind
And Kindness of Heart brings Peace of Mind.

By giving love, we can start this year
To lift the clouds of hate and fear.

~Author- Helen Steiner Rice~

The lines that really spoke to me were … “Are asking today; Is life worth living?
The answer is only in, loving and giving."

I was brought up in the Catholic faith but had left that behind in my teens. As an adult I returned to Christianity and spent many happy years there. The faith in God and the fellowship with others was a great support and strength in my life during that time.

In more recent years I have studied philosophy and eastern belief systems. I guess I am still in that phase of my life now. I realise now that I don’t need fixing as much as I thought I did. I also realise that even with the many hours trying to fix myself, I am still much the same person as I was many years ago.

I would hope that others realise they are OK as they are! Sure, we sometimes need to tweak aspects of our personalities to make it easier to live in society.

Fundamentally though, YOU ARE OK AS YOU ARE!

Trees in less than 300 words

I am experimenting with stretching my writing from being a stream of my thoughts to something a bit more creative. I am a bit frightened of creativity but I think it is time to experiment – just for fun :-)

Albany 2012 028Trees appeal to me. I love the seasonal changes including autumn leaves and spring blossoms – the fresh shoots of new leaves coming after the blossoms fall. I see life in trees – a life force. I see steadfastness, permanence, and persistence – each day the same no matter what happens around them. The traffic comes and goes, people travel to work and home again, but the trees remain.

I wonder if a tree can see all the happenings around it. If it does, it keeps it to itself. That is why I like to talk to trees sometimes – they seem so wise, serene, and strong.

I had a favourite tree in the City of Perth where I used to catch the Yellow Cat Bus to work. I remember it was a native paperbark. I can see it now – no matter what the weather or the season it persevered with its existence. It was not fully grown. Maybe it was held back by the pollution of the daily traffic and limited water supply. I was always pleased to greet it, as it was a fixed mark in my environment – alive and vibrant.

The tree will continue to grow and thrive and be unaffected by my absence. I hope it is well cared for and does not become the victim of progress. We need trees in our cities to remind us of nature. They give colour, texture, and contrast to the multi-story office blocks. They are a sanctuary for birds and other creatures. Not least of all, they give much-needed oxygen for us to breathe.

cheers

Lorraine

 

Squirmy moments

Tooth section international

Tooth section international (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I woke very early this morning after an awful dream – one I have dreamed many times before – my teeth are falling out! On waking my first action involved doing a tooth stock-take! Thankfully they are all still there :-).

I couldn’t get back to sleep so I pondered the feelings behind the dream. They ranged from embarrassment, shame, panic and a wish to hide myself away. You know – those moments when you wish you could slide under the floor mat and disappear.

Wide awake by now, I reflected on some real life experiences when I felt like that. One that came to mind was a Sausage Sizzle fund-raiser I organised for Rotary (I was president at the time). I don’t claim to be an event organiser, however I have done quite a few since that time. It was a real flop – limited volunteer helpers and bad weather didn’t help. I did enjoy giving away the sausages and bread to some homeless shelters though.

The incident was bemoaned by members (who hadn’t helped on the day) and became a bench mark of what NOT TO DO! But HEY, I tried, which is more that many others did.

It is not unusual for me to take on tasks that are outside my comfort zone. Only problem is I expect myself to get a brilliant result first time. I am reminded of sports people who train for years before reaching a level of expertise but I expect so much more of myself!

What about you? Do you expect yourself to get 100% first time and feel like a failure if you don’t? It is a bit silly to think that way, isn’t it?

Cheers

Lorraine

 

 

Belief

Albany and Denmark July 2011 017There was a time when I had a really strong faith in God. I went to a Catholic school as a child but, as an adult, I changed over to the Anglican Church. It was a powerful, spiritual experience and a very important part of my life.

Many years have gone by and my faith has gradually disappeared. I try to keep an open mind, especially in times of difficulty when I want help from on High. I always used to feel that at least I can pray for others, when I am powerless to do anything else.

I used to believe that God gave each of us special gifts and that we would only find fulfillment in our lives by using those gifts to make the world a better place. I still quite like the sound of that one.

The best I can come up with now is that maybe God is the source of energy experienced by all of nature. I accept that as a mere human I don’t know all the answers – I can’t see the BIG picture.

Today I learn from some of the teachings of Buddhism, philosophy and keeping life simple – accepting what I cannot change and changing what I can. I still see great wisdom in many of the teachings in the Bible and the beauty of the psalms and so forth. However, it is nature that feeds my soul and sustains me.