Category Archives: I feel…

Something that has impacted on me

Weekly photo challenge: Renewal

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Today I struggled to find a photo of something special that says “renewal” to me. My first reaction to the word is about spiritual renewal – what sort of photo could represent that? Then I thought of mundane things like “renewal” of membership  – such as  a library card.

I thought about what helps me feel renewed. It is when I spend time with nature – it can be trees, flowers or the ocean. So this is my contribution to the Challenge for today.

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West Australian State Election 1993…

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Parliament House, Perth - Western Australia.

Parliament House, Perth – Western Australia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Yesterday I was in Perth and was waiting for my husband to pick me up after an appointment. I looked across the road from where I was waiting and realised it was the Electorate Office for Greens’ Member of Parliament, Robin Chapple. This brought back some memories for me…

 

We had been interstate on holidays (vacation :-) ) and had a stopover in Perth before returning home to the Newman in the Pilbara. It was only a few weeks out from the State Election. I picked up a copy The West Australian newspaper. It was all doom and gloom about four seats that were at risk of being lost and, if that happened, there would be a change in Government.

 

When I saw that Northern Rivers Electorate, where we lived, was one that was predicted to be lost, I felt I had to do something about it. My husband at the time, and I were already very involved with the local political parties. I suggested to him that I could run for the seat to help defeat the opposition. He was supportive of the idea.

 

When we got home I discovered several messages on my phone (we didn’t have mobiles at the time). It was Robin Chapple, from the Greens Party. He was planning to run for the Greens for the Upper House and suggested I run for the Lower House. With our preferential voting system, if I didn’t win the seat, I could choose where to direct the votes that I received. I would be able to support the current local Member of Parliament to retain his seat against the Opposition. It was one of those times when everything seems to fall into place.

 

I said to Robin that I could only stand for the Greens if I was comfortable with what their policies were. He was able to give up a comprehensive run down of what they believed and hoped to do. It aligned closely with my values and ideas so I agreed to give it a go!  The local paper described me as a respected Shire Councillor and community worker :-) . I only had a short time to campaign for votes and had a great time of it. I even went as far as kissing babies on election day.

 

It was an exciting time and a lot of hard work. I don’t regret what I did, but if you asked me to do the same thing today, I would just laugh and say “No way! You must be kidding !”

 

And the result: our local member retained his seat in parliament but we lost government. Robin Chapple didn’t win his seat but he persevered and eventually was successful – which brings me back to the beginning of this blog!
cheers

Lorraine

 

 

Should Alan Jones be taken off air at radio 2GB

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English: Julia Gillard

English: Julia Gillard (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Alan Jones, talk back radio host, has greatly offended many people in Australia today in a Mitt Romney style blunder. He was speaking to a group of  young Liberals (conservatives) and attacked our Prime Minister, Julia Gillard not knowing his speech was secretly being recorded. Many of you will know that her parents were hard working people who moved to Australia from Wales for a better life for their children. Their daughter, Julia, won the highest office in Australia by becoming our first female Prime Minister.

Have your say in this poll

thanks

Lorraine

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Alan Jones – a bridge too far

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English: Julia Gillard

English: Julia Gillard (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Alan Jones, talk back radio host, has greatly offended many people in Australia today in a Mitt Romney style blunder. He was speaking to a group of  young Liberals (conservatives) and attacked our Prime Minister, Julia Gillard not knowing his speech was secretly being recorded. Many of you will know that her parents were hard working people who moved to Australia from Wales for a better life for their children. Their daughter, Julia, won the highest office in Australia by becoming our first female Prime Minister.

Alan Jones used the recent death of Mr Gillard, a gentle, lovable soul who is his daughter’s inspiration, for a political purpose by stating that the Prime Minister’s father died of shame of his daughter. Jones has been controversial in the past but this time he has really gone too far. Most of us have experienced the loss of someone we love. We grieve for them in our own personal way and get on with life as best as we can. For Jones’ to use his death to gain political points n(or whatever perverse reason) is really below the belt.

I for one, will not support any company that sponsors Jones – who works for 2GB radio in Sydney. Some sponsors  have already withdrawn their sponsorship and I will be watching to see which ones don’t and I will be happy to provide the company names on my blog and anywhere else I can get a hearing.

It is not about whether we support Julia Gillard or not as our Prime Minister (I do). She has copped it from misogynists from day one – her dress style, her voice, her humble beginnings. It is time that women and men stood up for fairness in this country that is supposedly about giving everyone “a fair go”.

Lorraine

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A weighty matter

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"Get fat on Lorings Fat-ten-u and corpula...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Will eat for food

Will eat for food (Photo credit: altemark)

The “weigh” he was Camp America commandant los...

Photo by Army Spc. David McLean (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What is stopping me from losing the weight I gained over winter?

Myth 1.Everyone gains weight over winter – is this true? I don’t believe it is true for me. I put on weight when I eat more than I need and exercise less than I need to. Sure, it is harder to motivate myself when the weather is cold and wet outside – it doesn’t invite me to get out there and go for a walk.

My weight has fluctuated for as long as I can remember and the reasons for the increases can be traced back, every time, to comfort eating. Eating to make myself feel better – get some of those feel-good endorphins.

Myth 2. We all get fatter as we age. I don’t believe that one either. Perhaps as we age, we get tired of people pleasing and start to accept ourselves as were at (fat!).

Myth 3. It must be my metabolism! I am inclined to agree with that to some degree. Some people seem to be able to eat anything and not gain weight. They naturally burn up the calories more quickly.

Myth 4. It is hard to know what to eat as there are so many diets, diet books, TV programs, scientific research – it is confusing! It is true that I feel overwhelmed by the choices of diets/eating programs that we see and read about every day. I guess I am hoping to find a diet where I can eat all my favourite foods (as much as I like) and still lose weight!

Myth 5. Fat people are happy people. The truth is that when I put on weight it has a negative impact on my self-confidence and my acceptance of my body. I try to pretend it doesn’t matter but it DOES matter to me. My contentment with life declines.

Myth 6. Exercise is tiring, boring, doesn’t work, is hard etc! I am NOT physically active and perhaps a bit on the lazy side. How can I change this attitude to exercise? What is stopping me? I don’t have any answer to that one just now. Does anyone have some suggestions for overcoming lethargy?

DEFINITION OF INSANITY (not sure of the origin of this) is when we know something is bad for us but we keep doing it!

Mmmm…. Food for thought!

Weight-walking

Weight-walking (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Lorraine

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Passion and anger

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The Great Day of His Wrath

The Great Day of His Wrath (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Feelings of anger are almost foreign to me. I don’t like to engage in conflict if I can avoid it. When it comes to “fight or flight” you will most often find me in full flight. Anger isn’t well received in women. It seems to conflict with what the world expects us to be: loving, patient, kind and caring. I don’t believe my view is isolated.
And yet there have been times in my life when anger has been the launching pad to take action in my life. When we are in a low place, anger can give us the energy to get out of it. When I am complacent I just go along with whatever the day puts in my path – I can be mentally lazy. I have so much to be thankful for in my life – and I am thankful. I just wonder what happened to the passion I once had about wanting to change the world? Am I just older and wiser or have I just become more cynical with age.

There are many issues in the world that are confronting  – the plight of people in Syria, the refugees fleeing from war and injustice in other parts of the world. Is there anything I can do about it? I think about giving financial support but then I am concerned about what percentage of my giving would really reach those in need. I am ashamed to say that it just seems too hard “to make a difference”!

In a country like Australia there are people doing it tough too. It isn’t necessarily to do with financial status – it can be due to dysfunction, unemployment and loss of hope. Our government provides benefits to most people in need – we cannot be compared with countries without these safety nets. I remember many years ago, as a single parent with three young sons, our Prime Minister of the day promised that no child need live in poverty by 1990, I cried because I believed him. That promise has been laughed at but it meant a lot to me at the time. Even the Prime Minister later said he regretted saying it as it was not achieved.

So, what in the world can I get passionate or angry about? How can I make a difference? And does it matter?

Your thoughts?

Lorraine

My Favourite Things

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I thought long and hard to find what is special to me. There were lots of possibilities before my eyes as I scanned my room seeking that something special – something that stood out above the rest. When I spotted Mum’s philosophy books my search was over. She sometimes read them to us at bedtime. As children we knew they were special because of the way she handled them – as though they held something close to her heart. She didn’t say so; we could just tell.

Seeing Mum of an evening was a treat in itself. She worked, mostly doing afternoon shift, as a Nurse at the local hospital. She trained during WW II however she met my Dad, a dashing young man in uniform, and they married five months later. That’s how it was in War time – or so I am told. Mum couldn’t complete her training after the wedding as married women couldn’t stay in training as nurses. She must have been very much in love to make that sacrifice. She loved her work, that was easy to see, so she worked as a Nurse’s Aid until she retired in her sixties.

We lived in our small wooden house in Channel Street – Mum, Dad and five kids – 3 girls in one bedroom (bunks and a single bed) and 2 boys in the sleep out. We had a wooden stove in the kitchen and a wooden fire-place  in lounge. Even so, I remember it being really cold.  When I got out of bed in the morning I shuddered as my feet touched the icy cold lino floor. There were no mats in the house.We would put our school shoes in the oven to warm them up before going to school.  It was fairly stark, but honest and clean (Mum was a bit obsessed with CLEAN!). We had a chip heater in the bathroom that made frightening noises – bath time was as short as possible!

Being the youngest of 5 children, I remember getting caught up in whatever was happening at the moment. My brothers believed their main role was to instil fear into me. They did this by going outside my window at night and pretending they were burglars or wild animals. I was a very timid  and fearful little girl.

Mum worked full-time from when I was 18 months old and Dad worked long hours – cutting wood in the forest. There were lots of times we were on our own. Saturday nights were special though – it was when we all shared in the luxury of  a big blog of chocolate.

Mum and Dad have both passed away now. It wasn’t until some time afterwards; it is a bit of blur now, but I came across the philosophy books. My sisters and I remember Mum reading snippets to us. We were not allowed to hold the book. It was special and Mum kept them in her bedroom. It was magic when she got them out.

Mum and Dad are dead and gone – I now have the books in my book-case and I have also developed a love of thought-provoking reading about the human condition.

What puzzled us girls is why Mum would read one particular story to us called “Tiss Me Goodnight” about a naughty child being punished by not getting a kiss goodnight. It is a really sad little story as the mother doesn’t relent and the child dies during the night”. Not exactly bedtime reading for us young girls. It instilled in me the importance of not denying my love and affection to others as one never knows what the next hours or days may have in store.

But, my Mum was mysterious to me. I wish I had got to know her better but perhaps there is always a side of our parents that we never know will know about.

Lorraine

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Dream catcher

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I dream a lot! I don’t always remember them though. When I am finding life a bit difficult I often dream that I am caught in a flood and that it is about to overwhelm me.

When stressed, I often clam up and bury the emotions inside. In order to be “less stressed” I am learning to name my emotions with a technique from “The Confidence Gap” by Dr Russ Harris.”  Amazingly, last night I dreamed that I was about to be faced with yet another flood.

This time I responded differently. I was able to channel the water into a part of my yard that was badly in need of water. I was very calm and collected and in control! It felt great.

My interpretation of this dream is that I CAN experience turbulent and overwhelming situations – I just need to acknowledge them and find a use (?) for them or channel those energies to where they are most needed in my life.

thanks

Lorraine

A crisis in confidence

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English Grammar In Use

English Grammar In Use (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am stuck! I committed myself to doing two university level units of study in the current semester. I downloaded all the course outlines, readings, and assignments! I set up Outlook appointments for study times and my part-time job. I actively engaged in the online community, but then something happened…

I sat in front of my computer and froze. Logically I had it all worked out – after all, it was just 12-13 weeks of study – surely I can commit myself to that! It was interesting stuff about communication, publishing, editing and design. In my mind I was back to being 15-16 years old. I didn’t complete my last year at High School for fear of failing. It was an awful place to be, but all these years later, the same fears and emotions returned.

As a result of my “freeze” I decided to defer my studies until 2013 – fortunately it was approved.

My biggest stumbling block was GRAMMAR! It may well have been a prehistoric language. I know the basic stuff about nouns, verbs, adjectives etc. and I mostly understand passive voice. There is so much more to it and I was torn with annoyance about not knowing something and the question “do I really need to know this stuff?”

Prior to deferring my studies I ordered a book from Amazon  called English Grammar in Use -  a self-study reference and practice book for intermediate learners of English and it is written by Raymond Murphy. It comes with a CD and it provides answers to all the exercises in the book. I was a little put off with INTERMEDIATE as I have used English as a first language all my life! When do I graduate to the next level!!!

So, there it is – do we really need to know grammar THAT well? What do you think? Are there parts of grammar that still confuse you?

There was another lesson for me in this experience and it took another book to regain some confidence. It is called The Confidence Gap – from fear to freedom, written by Dr Russ Harris. His approach in new in psychology (to the best of my knowledge) but has been known by many cultures for centuries – mindfulness and allowing our thoughts to come and go without getting “fused” (Harris’s word) with our thoughts, negative or positive. I would recommend the book to anyone struggling with self-confidence.

As for the GRAMMAR book – I haven’t decided if I really want to improve my skills in this area. It would be great to gain some skills and overcome past fears in this area. I will think about it (in a diffused sort of way) :-)

 

Cheers

Lorraine

 

 

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About writing

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Writing

Writing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

In the first half of 2012 I commenced university study in a professional writing course. I did two units and I passed both but felt I didn’t want to do any more. It is not cheap and it is a lot of work and pressure.

Mid year break came along and I had some time off to reflect. I decided I WILL do the last two units this semester (which starts today). I am studying online and it requires some discipline to keep at it.

 

Last semester one of the activities was about grammar. I did a lot of research and thought I had it sorted but I only got 4.5 out of 10 marks! No doubt there is some debate in writing circles about what is right and wrong in grammar. I reviewed my work and I could see the mistakes I made but I still don’t feel confident in it.

 

I decided that I need to take this more seriously. I NEED TO LEARN! I can see that writing is like any other creative pursuit where skill is developed over time. If I want to be a professional in this field then I will have to put in the effort to lift my standard in writing. Can I keep up the motivation? I hope so – it is up to me.

 

cheers

 

Lorraine